i get it.

First of all, Happy New Year everyone! This is the year of the Rabbit, which I am, and it is going to be the year of creativity. This year I am going to be expanding my classes and living into my dream of making creativity and art applicable and accessible for everyone. More on that later...

So to start this year, it is my task to reconnect with my own creative self in the way I used to eat, breathe and sleep art. It was not only something I did, it was who I was and it was a very empowering place. So on Monday I brought out a blank canvas and some beautiful paints, put on my favorite music and started to paint.

What surprised me was how hard it really was. Painting on paper with tempera paints (which is what we do in the class) has allowed me the freedom to paint anything without attachment. Painting on a canvas, well, that was intimidating. I struggled, and then I tried to fix what I didn't like and then I looked at and realized that I hated it.

For the rest of the day I felt terrible. Was this idea that I was an artist some kind of dream? Something that happened in a past life but no longer exists? Was I a fraud? It took the rest of the day and a conversation with a friend to realize that it wasn't that all was lost, it had just changed. What I had been trying to do on my canvas was the same thing I tried to do 15 years ago and it was no longer real for me.

And so begins my journey, to rediscover myself and a new way to express my soul. It also lends a great deal of compassion to those that come to my class. Looking at that big white piece of paper is scary, intimidating and it is easy to run from it. You may say, I'm not an artist, I can't paint. Yes you can. Maybe you aren't VanGogh, but really, no one is VanGogh except VanGogh. Even he copied other paintings before he found his own voice. You are unique. What you have to say is meaningful. You can paint and express yourself with freedom, without judgment and find your own voice to express what is in your soul. All you have to do is pick up that paint brush and you may be surprised to find where it takes you.